Recently I decided to learn how to crochet (blog post coming) but somehow in learning how to crochet I was motivated to pick up my knitting needles and re-learn how to knit again.

I learnt how to knit when I was in my late teens, my grandmother taught me, and I picked it up a few years ago but it never quite stuck. I’ve discovered that this is due to two reasons;

1. Since my late grandmother taught me this skill I was so incredibly scared of being bad at it and
2. When I picked up knitting a few years ago I decided to run before I crawled.

This time around I am interrogating these two reasons and pushing myself to just do the thing.

Let’s start with reason number two since this the most superficial of the two reasons.

Running before crawling:

When I picked up my knitting needles again a few years ago I did the thing I always do when I’m excited, I bit off more than I could possibly chew. I decided to learn how to every single stitch and make myself a non-beginner friendly cardigan (that popular Harry Styles one from a few years ago). I got so in my head that my first project had to be this grandiose thing that I never quite really finished anything. So this time around I did what all knitters are advised to do, I started with a beanie! This allowed me to revisit the fundamentals (knitting and purling) and focus on something small that did not require me to be a skilled knitter, this somehow worked and I finished the beanie.

Reason number two: my finished work cannot be bad!

I think there’s a part of me that was holding onto knitting as something my grandmother taught me that I didn’t want to ruin by being bad at it as though being bad at it would mean she was a bad teacher. I didn’t want to suck at knitting because that would somehow let down my grandmother typing this out now I realise how preposterous that notion is. In raising me my grandmother taught me so many things, all of those things have varying levels of importance however I am pretty sure that knitting would be very low on the importance scale.

Finally getting to this understanding has somehow unshackled me from the need to be good at knitting. Now I can be bad at it, as long as I do it!

I am excited and happy for myself and I look forward to all my future badly finished projects.