I have always been a fan of doing things the hard way, I think if we are honest with ourselves every person tends to be this way. We always want things that appear to be harder because if we do those things and we manage to get over the hurdle of actually dragging ourselves out of bed and doing the thing we feel pretty good about ourselves and everyone wants that feeling.

Recently however I have found myself wanting to remove those hurdles and seeing if I could live my life with less mental push back. I have wanted to do this for a long time mainly because I realised that every time I engage in something that doesn’t come naturally to me I struggle way more than I need to and that at the end of this struggle I am not necessarily better off.

Of course there have been instances when I struggled and I saw some positive “rewards”, the thing I think about to in this regard was studying. I am one of those people who struggled during my academic career.

My degree took a lot from me and I wish I could look back and say the piece of paper I received was the reward but I am not sure that it was the biggest reward from that whole process. I think the biggest reward was that my degree taught me that not everything needs to be a struggle, and that quite frankly not everything should be a struggle.

I think we are taught that in life, in work and in love everything needs to be hard and I am slowly coming to the realisation and acceptance that maybe this lesson is false and has always been false. I think of every time that I have done something that came easy to me and how that didn’t mean that I enjoyed it any less or was proud of myself less. It was just as joyful. A good example of this would be the bouquet making workshop that I participated in a few weeks ago that I absolutely loved and has been the highlight of my year so far and that was easy.

It was easy for me to pay the fee, it was easy for me to attend and it was easy for me to play with the flowers once I stopped overthinking it. It was an easy breezy day and it was worth every minute.

I think back to that morning and I recall that I woke with my stomach in knots because I was anxious and I had to be convinced by my wonderful partner that it was actually going to be a good day and I had to just approach it with ease.

Now to be clear, I don’t think there is anything wrong with fighting mental battles, hence my blog yesterday about running, but I do believe that we have become so accustomed to everything being accompanied by struggle and hardship that when life gives us a moment of gentleness and lenience we tend to still cut whatever is in front of us, open it up in search of where the tough bits are. I am being awakened to the fact that maybe that isn’t always the case, sometimes a flower bouquet really is that; something beautiful, something tender and something that really is meant to just make you smile without first having to go through the inconvenience of frowning. My goal is to lean into these moments and for once not question why I am being embraced with tender hands.

Here’s to 2020 and following ease through following the path of least resistance as often as possible.

Thanks for stopping by – may you remember to treat everyone with more kindness than you think is necessary.

Hello there dear reader-friend. Welcome to my first blog post of 2020, I hope the first 25 days of the year have treated you well and you have been treating yourself with kindness. I think kindness is very important this time of the year. Everyone walks into the New Year with a list of things they’d like to accomplish and that is when the world tends to be a bit delicate for us to navigate because we are all walking around with an immense amount of pressure on our shoulders trying to become a better version of who we are. Since I am as basic as can be I also came into 2020 with a pocket full of resolutions and wide eyes filled with hope. One of these resolutions is to definitely put in less screen time and more reading time. 

 

 

Less screen is taking some time to dial down but the more reading time is definitely increasing at an exponential rate and that is because of my new best buddy the Kindle. 

I received a kindle as a Christmas present and the excitement around the kindle is still heavy in me so that is going a long way in helping me keep on track with my resolution. I find myself reading constantly and I am having time of my life reading. One month down the line here is my very biased review on the kindle. I really think that if you’d like to get into reading and you can afford to spend some money upfront to simplify the act of reading you definitely should invest in this wonderful tiny reading device, here’s why –  

 

I get to read anywhere and everywhere: 

I read while waiting in lines, I read while traveling (I have been lucky enough to be carpooling to work so I have had plenty of reading time) and I squeeze in reading during lunch and right before bed which used to be hard for me. I used to struggle reading in bed because I could never figure out the correct angle for me to hold a book, the light was also a problem because I would struggle to fall asleep after and I feel like all of that is resolved now. While I do miss the beauty that came with touching and feeling a book I do enjoy the convenience of not being afraid to bend the book out of shape to fit my reading needs. Now that that is all resolved and I getting into reading with a bit less preciousness attached to reading – I am reading because I enjoy it and not because books are beautiful keepsakes to protect and display, it’s taken the strain out of reading. 

The size of the kindle is also very portable and convenient so it fits in my work back pack, in my lunch bag (where I actually keep it) and in my smallest (favourite) “handbag”. It isn’t bulky so I feel less conscious about dragging it out or carrying it in my hand since it is about the size of two cell phones.

 

 

I always have more than one book: 

When I think of reading one of the things I think back to was Rory’s character on Gilmore Girls and how Rory carried a book with her everywhere she went. Whilst I am a bit older now and I realise that maybe that was a tad false and unrealistic I have always wanted to be able to do the same. I have tried it in the past where I made sure that I had a book in my work bag at all times however this was unsustainable for me because I am what I call a moody reader which means thatI read according to how I feel. Sometimes I feel like my life needs some structure and that’s when I turn to serious, non-fiction books and sometimes I feel like being thrilled and/or distracted so I need fiction to transport me to a new world. The kindle works perfectly for this because it’s a few books in my pocket and I can read whatever feeds my mood when I am in that mood.

 

 

 

Better Book for your Buck:

I am not sure if there have been any actual savings on my kindle due to paying less for books. Since the books are all in USD and I am South African I wonder whether it will actually translate in Rands to any actual savings. For example, my current read is Tomi Adeyemi’s Children of Blood and Bone is currently R271 (hardcover) on loot.co.za and I purchased it for R173 meaning I am paying at least R100 less and this is before taking shipping into account. So in some respects it does look like I will be able to break even on the initial cost at some point?

 

Does it compare to reading on other devices:

I have wondered whether this gift is an unnecessary indulgence. Whether I actually need it and whether I could not just outsource all my other devices to doing what my kindle does.

As someone who has challenged myself to consume less. This is driven by the realisation that 1) things don’t really bring everlasting joy and that they shouldn’t and 2) the more I consume the more resources needed to produce and the planet does not need that. So I have wondered why couldn’t use my phone or my tablet to fill the gap and make reading more convenient for myself. I realise that this is a “nice to have” but then again at this point in my life most things are and that’s something I need to be honest about. I acknowledge that most things will not move the needle for me in terms of the basic needs of Marslow’s Hierarchy of needs but maybe they will move me towards the higher end of the pyramid to those “luxury” needs that so few of us get to experience, and at this point in my life that makes this tiny device completely worth it. 

 

 

So in conclusion you should buy the kindle if you’d like to read more because it’s useful and convenient. If you are okay with never touching real book, not having a full home library that you can occasionally stare at or if you maybe want to have an alternative to the books you already have, especially those you want to make notes on.

 

 

Thank you for reading, until next time – may 2020 treat you with kindness. 🙂

It has only been three days since the last 10 lessons but I think we need to wrap this up before the year is over. Hello friends and happy New Years Eve.

I am spending this morning hiking because I did this last year in Wilderness and found that it was the best way for me to spend New Years Eve. I have never been a New Years Eve person, there’s so much funfair and excitement around the day that it has always been anxiety inducing for me but last year I discovered the best way to deal with it is to be out with the trees and my very wise walking companion who I am more likely to listen to when I am outside because then he doesn’t have to compete with Netflix for my attention. In fact this little ritual that I am now going to make annual inspired lesson number 23. So I have decided to type this out and set it up that it is published at 10am on December 31st. Yeah I am fancy like that now.

(A little bit of an edit, the hike did not happen as I decided to make way to meet a new human who I am very excited about.)

Let’s get into it, here is part 3 and the last part of my 30 lessons in 30 years. Do enjoy.

21. You don’t need as many clothes as you have been conditioned to think you do. I understand the need for self-expression and the purpose that fashion serves as art, but the fact remains that we do not need 52 seasons and we as humans have normalised this. I will admit that this lesson is slightly preachy, but I needed to say it. Please, in your consumption of clothing less is definitely not more but why is more the goal anyway? Maybe we need to interrogate why we have been conditioned to view “more” as the pinnacle of happiness.
22. Eat your vegetables. The greens, the carbs and everything in between. Just do it.
23. Spend as much time as you can outside, I know this can be challenging. We spend so much time and effort making sure that the insides of our living paces is so beautiful and perfect that leaving and visiting the sun seems like less of a priority but trust me there is something about the sun that is renewing in a way that no couch can renew. So get outside as often as you can.
24. Not all failures are there to teach you lessons – sometimes you really do just fail (taken from Dwight Schrute on The Office). And maybe that’s the lesson.
25. Be kind. It takes absolutely nothing from you to be kind in a terribly unkind world. I would like to challenge all of us to be a little more kind in 2020 and beyond, in the event that you find unkindness threatening to seep through your pores and onto someone who you have for some reason decided deserves it – count to ten and back away. Be kinder, it’s easier.
26. For women: Anger is a justified human emotion, sometimes your angry and people will squirm at the sight of an angry woman, they will have to deal. They will wonder why you aren’t soft, they will wonder why you aren’t silent and they will try and make you feel like you are unjustified in your anger, this is a casual reminder that you are allowed to be angry. Men do not have a monopoly on anger.
27. There is a lot of injustice in the world, be aware and use your voice when you can.
28. Eggplant is disgusting.
29. If you are in a room where you feel like you aren’t welcome or that you are welcome on the condition that you hide or shrink certain parts of yourself those are the rooms that you should show up in your fullness. Pump your chest out, raise your voice because the gatekeepers of those rooms need to see people like you there taking up space. They need to know that even when you are fearful and uncomfortable you will still show up in your true form and question them at every turn. People need to be questioned, don’t be afraid to be the one doing the questioning. And when you are being questioned be opened to the fact that you do not know everything and that is okay.
30. Wellness is made up of more components than weight loss. I think I am still learning this. It is taking a long time because I have had hips since I was ten years old so I have been trying to lose weight (hips really) since I was ten years old. I have been confused in thinking the smaller the size of my hips the healthier I was. In 2012, I was probably the smallest I have ever been since I crossed over into my twenties and yet that was one the toughest years in my life as my mind was too broken and too scattered to actually enjoy anything. Food, people, experiences, you name it, it all felt empty and I am now realising that was because I was so wrong about wellness. So here is the lesson, the final lesson; in order to be well you have to make sure that all aspects of your human experience is well. This will take time. This will come and go as you move through all phases of your life and that is completely acceptable.

Like I said in the beginning I am now fancy and have set this blog to be posted on December 31^st at 10:00, so here’s to wishing you joy in the last few hours of 2019 and that 2020 brings prosperity and ease in your life.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment on some lessons you think I have missed or letting me know how you found this post.

Nthabi 🙂