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Book Reviews, books, fiction, interesting reads, lifestyle, Uncategorized, Writing

Little Fires Everywhere Book Review

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Last weekend, Easter weekend, was a great reading weekend. I finished off two books and started two new books. This is a big deal for me because it means that I managed to convince myself that the world would not collapse with me fully immersed in reading and away from my laptop. Two of the books I read last week were about fire, one book was about two children who spontaneously combust (Nothing to See Here book review coming soon) and the other was a little well-known book called Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng.

Little Fires Everywhere has been on my radar for a long time. Most probably since it came onto the scene and it was mentioned by some pretty famous book clubs. It is always a bit hard to read a book that is overly hyped, for no reason other than feeling really bad when you don’t like it. Like maybe there’s something intrinsically wrong with my literary palate.

Over the years however I have discovered that I struggle to read overhyped books because I build a pretty strong wall of expectations and if the author is unable to climb that wall and reach my unrealistic anticipations I tend to not enjoy the book and I rarely ever finish the book. With Little Fires Everywhere however I decided to get over myself and just read the darn book!

With all that being said I walked into Celeste Ng’s book with very little knowledge of the storyline. I didn’t know any of the characters, I’d never actually read or watched a single book review, I just knew that it was a good book that had been on Reece’s book club in 2017. This is a great way to get into a book because I went in with no truths or beliefs that I needed to be confirmed.

The book starts off at the tail end of the story in that it starts with a fire and the rest of the book takes us through the events leading up to that fire. We are introduced to an upper middle-class family the Richardson’s and their two mysterious tenants mother and daughter, Mia and Pearl. Mia and Pearl move into a home owned by Mrs Richardson whose family has been part of the Shaker Heights community for three generations. The community is a perfectly planned community where everything is orchestrated according the Shaker Heights by-laws. The grass is cut at a certain height, the houses are all painted the same colours and the people in Shaker tend to all follow a strict set of rules. Shaker seems like a place that Mia and Pearl who have been nomads for all of Pearl’s life would not fit in, but of course they manage to fit in with Pearl befriending the Richardson children and Mia taking on one of the children, Izzy, as somewhat of a protégé.

As I have stated I went into the book with no background about what the book is about. The one thing I enjoy about reading strictly on kindle is that I am unable to read the back cover of books so I really do go into books partially clueless. The book did not manage to grip me as much as I thought it would. Getting through the story was actually quite challenging for me. I think it could be that when the scene is set as “perfect little community versus rogue mother and daughter duo who don’t follow the rules” my mind already starts to construct it’s own story and 80% of the time I am spot on about what will happen and this is exactly what happened with this book give or take a few twits. I expected them to face the challenges they faced, I expected them to fall for the people they fell for and I expected them to act in a way they acted.

For me finishing the book became more about confirming my expectations as opposed to savouring and enjoying the actual story. The book is however written quite well. I cannot fault Ceelste’s writing at all. The story itself is told wonderfully and under any circumstances I would have been more than happy to give it five stars on good reads. I think I was at the point in my fiction reading wherein I wanted a bit more thrill or maybe characters who do the unexpected, which is what I have been reading a lot of lately.

I do think though that the book is worth the read. It is generally a good enough entertaining read and it definitely felt like I was watching a series while reading it and I can totally see what the fuss was about it in 2017. The book might not thrill you, but Celeste Ng is a gifted writer who does some wonderful things in telling a story that feels like it is as old as time itself.

Thanks for reading this review, please let me know whether you have read the book and whether you agree or disagree.

Until next time, remember to be kinder than you think is necessary.

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The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo Book Review

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South Africa, like many countries, is currently under a national lockdown. Only essential services are allowed out while the rest of us are home, staying safe and being eternally grateful to those who are keeping our society going during these uncertain times.

I am still working from home, so I don’t have as much free time as YouTube assumes I do – my entire feed is littered with things to do in doors during this global pandemic. I haven’t managed to do any of these things because like I said I am still working my normal hours. One thing I have been doing however is getting in a lot of reading and making promises to myself about writing nook reviews. In 2020 so far I have read 13 books and written 1 book review so it is safe to assume that I am not doing so well. I am currently on book 14, 15 and 16.

Book 16 happens to be Anna Karenina which two pages into reading I decided I needed a break so here I am. Avoiding reading my book. Without making this introduction any longer than it already is, let us go on ahead and review The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

I picked out this book after watching too many reviews about it on YouTube and decided that I needed to see what the big fuss was all about. The book was a hard one for me to envision myself reading because the tag line is that “it’s a great book to read if you are interested in that sort of old Hollywood life” and I am not really interested in that old Hollywood life. I don’t watch old movies, I don’t read old books and I don’t really spend time fantasizing about any aspect of old Hollywood. I mean yeah, sure the outfits back in the 1960’s were beautiful but that’s as far as I can go as far as thinking that far back goes. This book however opened me up to a whole new world and I relished every single word and every single husband.

The book is based on the life of Evelyn Hugo, a Hollywood actress who became popular in the 1960’s and who also happened to be incredibly beautiful and also as the book reveals very driven and calculating. As the title of the book suggests Evelyn has had seven husbands in her lifetime and the book is set against the backdrop of her retelling her life story against her husbands. The story is told to an up and coming journalist Monique Grant, who upon starting the interview asks Evelyn who her one true love was.

With this one question we are taken through Evelyn’s life from aspiring actress, to sort of famous actress to Oscar winning actress in the most wonderfully detailed way possible. The book is packed with a lot of little tit bits and lessons and Taylor Jenkins Reid takes us through what power is when you’re a woman and how even when one has everything there are still limitations to what that power can do for you.

I really enjoyed this wonderful trip down Evelyn’s memory lane. I found myself on the edge of my seat with excitement, frowning and annoyed at Evelyn’s sometimes selfishness and celebrating when she finally won her Oscar. Every husband came with a different kind of truth that I think was expressed throughout the book, a necessary truth. I really enjoyed how unapologetic the writer was in making Evelyn what some would think was a calculating and self-centered bitch. I think sometimes when stories are told of women such as Evelyn, women who chose their own lives and who were deliberate about doing that there is always an aura of regret that sort of coats the backdrop of the story and I didn’t feel this at all with Evelyn Hugo. I found her to be honest, as though to say “I lived an imperfect life on my terms and the fact that it was on my terms made it fuller and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

I struggled to find parts of this book that I thought were unnecessary distractions. I think the book was long enough that the detail mattered and was used well by the author in setting and telling the story.

I think this is a book worth picking up and reading – the book won’t change your life but it will keep you entertained and at the end of it you will spend sometime trying to decide whether Evelyn was the good guy or the bad guy in the story of her life and in the story of Monique’s life.

Thanks for reading another book review, here’s to hoping I do more of these.

creativity, lifestyle, meditation, mental health, Self care, Uncategorized

On Meal Time Meditation

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I take meal time very seriously. I am one of those people who finds no delight in bragging about being too busy that I don’t get to eat. I enjoy meal time, I enjoy setting out time in my day to sit, eat my food, take in the flavours and think about nothing more than each bite.

Unfortunately however I do not work in the kind of space where this is celebrated. In my line of work it is almost expected that you be willing to miss out on meal time in order to make this or that deadline. I am happy to say that amidst all of this pressure I have maintained my right to have a meal away from my laptop at least most of the time.

I recently watched an interview with Tracee Ellis Ross who was being interviewed by Oprah. Tracee as we all know has come to not only be known as a talented actress, a businesswoman, the daughter of a legend but also as a self care goddess living what she terms “a joyful and juicy life”. I am a big fan of Tracee, I have loved her and watched her since her time on Girlfriends where she played the role of Joan, who I can only describe as the poster child for the careful black girl. I identified with Joan, and I thought Tracee was hilarious (I also appreciated that she represented those of us who are lacking in cup size).

Anyway back to the interview. In the interview Tracee said something very interesting about meditation in which she said she defines it as “doing what you’re doing when you’re doing it” . I thought this view on meditation was brilliant because it made it possible to do it everywhere and in everything. As though reading my mind Tracee went on to describe how she tries to do this while eating her food, specifically soup, which forces you to slow down, sit down and eat.

Since watching this I have been even more adamant about my meal time. I am working through a lot of beliefs that I thought I’d let go off about what it means to be productive, worthwhile and valuable. I am unlearning the belief that in order for me to be any of the things I’d like to be for my team I have to become anxious, overworked and unable to take time off to eat when the time comes.

The commitment to this sort of resolution requires me to be okay with going at it alone. This means sometimes delaying my meal time until a task is done so I can be fully present with my food. It sometimes looks like sitting cross legged at my desk with my laptop closed and eating my food while listening to music. And sometimes it means having meal time by myself because no one else shares my beliefs around food and meditation. However the commitment to my resolution shows up, part of doing what I am doing while I do it is me accepting that it won’t always look the way I want it to be and sometimes I’ll have to be flexible enough to let go of my perfect picture. But sometimes, only sometimes, it also means insisting that it needs to be the way I want it to be, even if it is for myself and by myself.

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On Digital Minimalism

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A little while ago someone made a comment about how I have every gadget known to man and although this statement wasn’t necessarily true it was close enough to how I feel that I sort of found myself looking around me and wondering if maybe I have too many screens.

I mean there are items that I need to get my work done – my work laptop, the additional work screen and then the work phone, those are a must. Then are personal items which have brought entertainment into my life like my phone, my tablet (also used as a notebook) and then my kindle. So yes, I think I tend to go a bit overboard with all things digital. I could go on about how some of these items were gifts and not at all my fault but I am going to go for the honest angle and just state outright that I like and enjoy my tech products.

With that being said though, I think one would be dishonest about the impacts technology has on other aspects in our lives by claiming that it acts only as a beacon of entertainment and all that is good in the world. For all that technology has given us it has taken quite a bit from us too. I do think that when we look at what has been taken away from us we tend to want to do that on a one size fits all basis. Which means that we assume that what applies for someone else should apply for everyone and we then use that as a yardstick for judging ourselves and others.

Since the beginning of this year I have been on a journey to discover what digital minimalism means for me. This meant that I have had to cut back on some of my favourite apps (hey there blue bird app), putting in some rules around my phone and what I use it for (bye bye pretty people on my phone) and no touching my kindle to read when I am around others – except when I’m in the car or on a flight, I think that’s acceptable.

There is a lot to be said about cutting out on digital use. Some things are true and some things seem less true than others, in my experience however there is always something to learn from taking sometime away from the digital world.

Over the past few months for example I have learnt that I can get my news and stay up to date without constantly scrolling down my feed. I have learnt that social injustices still get me as rilled up when I hear them over the radio as when I read them on twitter. I have learnt that I am still very capable of reading an entire book in a day if I choose to.

I have also learnt what it feels like to be bored. To just sit with my thoughts and twiddle my thumbs. To have nothing to do while I wait in line, to wait to be picked up and look straight-ahead because there’s nothing to look down at.

I think the best lesson I’ve learnt is that I’m going to have to define digital minimalism for myself. I know, there’s a whole book about it but I am going to have to make my own rules in this case. I will have to take charge and decide what’s important to me and how I am willing to commit to that.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve made the best decision in my life, and sometimes I feel like I perhaps drank too much from the productivity-YouTube cool-aid. Either way at this point I am enjoying the time I feel like I’ve gotten back, the face-to-face connections I am making and the many many new things I am doing when I am not lost in my technology.

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On Happiness

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I found myself happy this morning and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I felt, happy and I am happy this morning. It seems foreign, it seems like an old familiar face you see in the grocery shop and you spend the next five minutes strategically circling them and asking yourself “Where do I know you from?” without ever approaching them and asking. That’s what happiness feels like this morning. Yes, I have been happy. And I was happy not so long ago but today it felt like a new kind of happy. A calm kind of happy, a happy that I can only describe as joy and I am being honest it terrified me.

Usually what happens when I am happy is that I start to ask myself when I will be sad. But today I am happy and I am not going to dissect it. I am going to sit in comfortably my joy just like I have comfortable been sitting in my sadness for so long. I am going to sit and welcome joy on the seat next to me just like I did with my grief when I lost my grandmother, just like I did with my disappointment when I failed my final board exam last year and just like I am always so openly ready to do with the darkness that’s always tugging at my me.

I think it’s quite strange how as people we have become so hesitant when we are met with joy. When we are met with that tiny feeling reminding us that maybe it isn’t all bad and maybe the sun will shine again and it will do so gloriously.

I say we but maybe this is just me. Maybe this is a reminder for me. Maybe this is me telling me that I should wear joy when it comes as eagerly as I am willing to wear everything else. Maybe this is me reflecting on yesterday’s session with my therapist wherein I didn’t know how to articulate that I am breathing. I am breathing easy. I am noting a slowed down pace in my lungs and in my mind and I am liking it. I didn’t know how to express that. I am very good at expressing everything else. And maybe part of the journey is learning how to express happiness as well, because when it comes, I’d like to recognise it at first glance when it enters through the door again.