Category Archives: lifestyle

books, essay, lifestyle, Self care

Low Buy Year: My Rules

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As mentioned in my previous post, I will be embarking on a low buy year in 2025 and just like everyone else embarking on this journey I’ve come up with some rules just to make sure there’s a plan at hand for when things get murky.

I’ve laid out my plan in terms of things in my life where I normally spend money.

Home:

There are a few household items that we are anticipating in 2025. Since we’ve decided to become a co-sleeping family (something that is so common in South Africa, calling it “co-sleeping” feels very disingenuous, it’s just sleeping!) we will need to invest in a new mattress as well as mattress slats to avoid moulding (this is the U.K). This will be a cost split between me and my partner.

Clothing:

As previously mentioned I have just had a baby. Two months in and I’ve found a style and look that works for my body and more importantly for breastfeeding. Going into 2025 there should be no need for me to buy any clothing. In the even that my body does change and I need clothes that fit better I will take what I currently own for altering.

Shoes:

I must admit that shoes are my Achilles heel, I love a good shoe. Or a bad shoe to be honest, I just love shoes. I do have to reign in it so I have decided to limit it two pairs of shoes that I need (want). Firstly a pair of Birkenstock sandals in a neutral colour because since I only own a single pair of crocs sandals and they are green. However being in the UK I rarely wear sandals, even in the summer I tend to always have my feet covered.

Secondly I would love a red pair of flat shoes. I have a pair in mind because I have the beige version of those shoes, however I am not sure what my new shoe size will be since my feet are not fully back to “normal” yet.

Baby clothes:

I will have to buy my son clothing as he gets bigger. We didn’t stock pile on clothing before he came so he doesn’t have clothing beyond this newborn phase (and 90% we bought after he was born). However we have found what we like to dress him in and what is easiest for elimination communication and so we will have to buy those every few months. With this of course we will have to buy him clothing as seasons change. Baby clothing is really an area that we cannot predict unfortunately but we will aim to go as secondhand as possible.

Baby feeding:

My son is exclusively breastfed and I have not found that I’ve never much other than myself and a few nursing bras. However at some point my son will start eating solid food (how exciting!) and he will need a feeding chair, bibs and other feeding utensils.

I will try very hard to find a second hand version of the feeding chair we would like. But these are necessities we cannot go without.

Baby toys:

I think we have everything my son will need until he is six months old in terms of toys. Probably for longer than that however I’ve settled on not buying him any new today’s until he is six months old.

Books:

I have recently treated myself to an early birthday present and bought a kobo libra.

I really love it so far. My main reason for purchasing it was because my old kindle was increasingly taking out the joy of using an e-reader for me. I went with the kobo libra because I think it’s pretty, I want to move away from my reliance on Amazon and I like the fact that you can repair the battery of the kobo libra, extending its useful life.

And so first of all I will not be buying any physical books unless I have read the electronic version and have loved it. In reading electronic books, I will make use of the library with the exception of classics, these I will buy outright in order to retain my annotations.

I will aim to read my shelves, meaning no new books will be coming into our home that I have not read and loved electronically. Even so I will limit books to one a month, therefore 12 new books for the year.

I do not have a kindle unlimited or any other such subscription and I will not be paying for one in 2025.

Amazon and other shopping apps:

I do not have Amazon prime (my partner does) and I will be deleting the Amazon shopping app along with other shopping apps. I will only be using Amazon to buy my dog’s treats every month.

Subscriptions:

I currently have three subscriptions; Disney plus, Canva and WordPress. I will maintain these throughout the year and not adding any more. This will be so hard when Netflix comes out with a new Love is Blind season because I do love a messy Netflix reality show, but I will stay strong in my resolve!

Other items:

For items that require refilling I will only buy items as they run out, I have always done this and see no reason to change this approach.

I will not be buying any new makeup – I have found make up and a make up routine that works for the handful of times I wear make up, I don’t need anything else.

I will not be buying any new stationary with the exception of a fountain pen to replace mine. However no new journals. No stickers (I like to use these in my work diary to add whimsy). And I will only buy tabs for annotating when they run out.

I am hoping that these rules will cover everything I consume. I will perform a review every two months to make any amendments if necessary.

I wish I had some clever way of ending this blog post but I have none, it is what it is. I am just going into this with hope and hoping that the conviction follows suit and I am able to stick to my rules.

essay, lifestyle, Writing

Low Buy Year 2025: My Reasons

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Like many people I have decided to have a low buy year in 2025. I would have liked to commit to a no buy year but given that I have just had a baby who is growing and my body is changing from pregnant, to freshly postpartum to wherever my body lands in a few months there might be a need for some clothing (or altering of clothing) that actually fits. With that being said though like most people I have decided to scale it back and I wanted to document for myself the reasons why for those low days when a new thing feels like the perfect solution for an uncomfortable emotional state of being.

The Why:

Somewhere between 2019 where I had not bought anything new for over three years and 2020 when I moved to the UK and realised I needed some clothing necessary for surviving a UK winter I have somehow lost perspective with most things I purchase. I don’t think I am an excessive consumer however the convenience of online shopping has clouded my perception of what normal spending is and I have put together a list of reasons for why some reflection on how I’ve spent my money in the past four years is necessary.

#1 Respecting the planet:

I think it goes without saying that our planet cannot handle the level of consumption we have all become comfortable with. Whether it’s the amount of plastic in landfills, the unethical extraction of minerals like cobalt that pollutes rivers or the growing of cotton by fast fashion brands that requires the destruction of the rain forest. We could all do with scaling back, for me this means seriously thinking about a product from inception to my front door.

#2 Savings money:

Globally the cost of living has gotten higher and higher and staying on top of daily expenses makes saving money very difficult. As someone who would like to own a home around London and send my son to university one day this means reprioritising putting money away and I know that spending less on nonessentials will go a long way.

#3 Setting a good example:

I became a mother in October 2024 and this has brought with it a new responsibility to be a more conscious consumer. I would like to teach my son the value of hard work, of money and of treating the things you own with respect. This becomes increasingly difficult when items are treated as disposable and the convenience of purchasing an item far outweighs the value of hard work and money. This is by far the most important reason for me as I would love to model what it means to be a thoughtful global citizen.

#4 Clearer and intentional space:

I have become hyper aware of the fact that with a baby in the home it can be very easy to accumulate clutter. While we did a good job of safeguarding against this while I was pregnant there has still been a fair bit of stuff that has come into our space. We have play mats, a mobile, soft cubes, changing pad, pram and the list goes on and on. Whilst I think it’s impossible to have a baby and not have any changes to your environment I would like to only bring things into our home that align with our values. This means staying clear of any items that are trendy and sometimes convenient for a short amount of time.

Additionally as my husband and I grow older we are now aware of what our tastes are and how to mesh them. We are beginning to invest in timeless pieces (a lot of them second hand) that we plan on keeping for the rest of our lives.

We are hoping that added layer of purchasing intentionality of not just buying what is cheapest and most convenient not only for us but for our son will lead to spending a lot less on household and baby rearing items and this will help us maintain a clutter free household filled with only what we love and value.

#5 Making and mending:

This is perhaps one of the things that links most to my desire to go back to writing. Over the past few years I have invested in quite a few hobby based items. Be it knitting, crocheting or sewing equipment, all these items were bought with the intention of slowing down my consumption and aid in my creating items for myself and my family. I have found this difficult when the convenience of a buying a blanket far exceeds the slow paced effort of making one. This approach has also bled into mending items that require a small amount of repairing. Buying clothing with a click of a a button is a lot quicker than the effort of pulling out a needle and thread and repairing a tiny rip or button on an item of clothing. This once again is not aligned with the values of respecting the planet, its people and teaching my son the value of ownership. And so going into the new year I will be spending time finishing off items I have started by spending some time learning how to make and mend.

Those are my five reasons for my low buy year in 2025 and hopefully every other year as I become more thoughtful about my purchases and return to a place I was a few years ago (with the minor tweak of having a baby).

Here’s to a richer 2025, both financially and mentally.

Book Reviews, books, fiction, goodreads, interesting reads, lifestyle

BOOK REVIEW: SULA BY Toni Morrison

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“Each time she said the word me there was a gathering in her like power, like joy, like fear.”

The question of freedom has always been an interesting one for me. Maybe it’s because I come from a country where Freedom only became a reality for people like me 27 years ago. Or maybe it’s because even with that I realised that being a woman and African meant that freedom might just be an elusive concept for me. However, even with that understanding, I have always been wildly interested in the notion of freedom and complete autonomy over myself. I have spent many nights and many days ruminating over what it means to be free and how it that freedom manifests in various places in our lives. Sula by Toni Morrison is a book that explores this very concept of freedom and how it intersects at a crossroads of Blackness and Womanhood. 

Sula was first published in 1973 and is Toni Morrison’s second published novel. Anyone who has read Toni Morrison will tell you that she does not write for half-hearted readers. She writes for people who are willing to get down in the trenches with her. People who are willing to ask the writer questions and aren’t scared to have those same questions pointed right back at them. That is the beauty of Toni Morrison, she requires your full attention before, during and after you read her work. 

“Because each of them had discovered yers before that they were neither white nor male, and that all freedom and triumph was forbidden for them, they had set about creating something else to be.”

In Sula we follow the life of a woman who Toni Morrison referred to as “whimsical and who follows her own instincts”. We meet Sula and her best friend Nel as they grow up, find each other and create a home for one another within each other.  We follow their lives and the lives’ of the women who shape them. We read along as Sula and Nel become too different in their views and in their womanhood. Nel lives a life that is seen as typical by many standards; married with children and living in her hometown. Sula follows a path of independence going off to college only to return to her little town completely belonging to herself.  

Toni Morrison does such a great job at exploring the different manifestations of what it means to be free, Black and a woman in the United States from the 1920s  to the 1960s. We experience freedom through the Peace women who are not bound to anyone other than each other which is in itself is another type of confinement. Our understanding of freedom is further stretched when Sula dismisses familial obligations by severing ties with her own family but also by bringing into question the foundations of Nel’s family and the families of other women in the small town of Medallion. We see people act a certain way in her presence. In Sula, Toni Morrison really does the work of expanding the readers understanding of community; how our communities label us and how we then live out our lives as a result of that labelling. I found myself questioning the very notion and function of community, can any of us live out our freewill if we are really set in places that expect us to tick certain boxes in order to earn being a part of something and of belonging to some people. Sula is a great book for questioning and I enjoyed the pacing of the book. It seemed to pause just when I need a break and throw me back into the story when I was ready to dive back in.

“Yes. But my lonely is mine. Now your lonely is somebody else’s. Made by somebody else and handed to you. Ain’t that something? A second handed lonely.”

One of the things I love about Toni Morrison’s work is that she does not write good and bad characters. I don’t think it is ever clear when leaving her work who is the good, the bad nor the ugly. You walk away with questions. Questions about what you see as good and questions about the lenses that you have been provided with that allow you to see certain things as bad and only attributable to bad people. I enjoyed this tone in Sula. I enjoyed the curiosity I held throughout the book about whose side I was supposed to be on and in the end I came to the realisation that the imperfect characters were by design. That not knowing is intentional because it is mirror of life, of the unknowingness of whether you are good or bad and then falling to an understanding that you are neither. 

Sula is definitely a book for the ages that will need to be read over and over to fully uncover the messages in the book. There are some things that I am still unsure about but I am one hundred percent sure that it will be a book that I read over and over again. If you haven’t read it I would highly recommend that you pick it up. 

creativity, essay, interesting reads, lifestyle, Self care, Writing

CAPITALISM V HOBBIES

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I have been thinking a lot about what it means to have a hobby in a capitalist society. How do you fuel that hobby? Do you have limits for how much money and time you spend? Are we even allowed to spend money on a hobby? Not a side hustle, not a thing that brings money in, but something that requires that you spend money and time on it in a way that isn’t financially rewarding. How are we navigating that in the year 2021? 

Recently I have been indulging my hobbies in a big way. I am spending my evenings reading and not putting in that extra hour at work after 7pm. I am posting all my books on instagram and engaging with other readers on the platform. And most recently, I have started a YouTube channel and I am giving my Saturdays to filming and editing. I have chosen a hobby in books and I am giving it all my time and some of my money and it feels strange. 

I think for some of us the idea of the “hobby” is something new. Don’t get me wrong, I have always known about hobbies. I have listened to people talk about how they really love learning about nautical knots. I have watched videos of people gush about their latest outdoor adventure. And I have read about people who collect stamps, coins and even feathers. So I am aware of the concept of having a hobby.

Over the past few years I have allowed myself to dip my toe and indulge in my hobbies so long as it didn’t take any money and time from me. I started this blog but maintained that I didn’t want to spend money on it and that I would only write if I HAD the time (whatever that means). I have read books but on the condition that they cost me very little and that most of them should be books geared towards finance that would teach me something new that I can apply to my daily work. I even went as far as limiting myself to only reading non-fiction at some point, figuring that if I was going to spend my time on reading without compensation then I should be learning something new about topics that I rarely ever cared about. 

The notion of doing something away from my work that didn’t bring me any additional income seemed irrational to me.  It made me feel as though I was wasting the most precious commodity to me; which is time. 

I didn’t consider joy. I didn’t consider fulfilment. And I certainly didn’t consider whether or not this was making me a better person in the long run. All I cared about for a long time was that my time was spent “productively”, whilst never stopping to question what productivity was for me. 

Now I realise the great place of privilege I am in to even be able to think about the concepts of hobby versus capitalism. I think there are very few people in this world who can choose how they spent their “free” time (the concept of “free time” in itself is outrageous) and there is an immense level of unfairness in that alone. I do however think that it is a topic worth discussing and thinking about, and I wanted to offer my contribution to that discussion here. 

Capitalism has brought about so many convoluted understandings of what it means to be productive. I, of course, have only been alive during this century but I would hope that there was a point in time when humans did not decide their value in the world based on how much we get done in a day. Unfortunately any study of history dashes any of these hopes as it it becomes clear to everyone that capitalism has always been the great decider.  

When we decide to indulge in our hobbies the first thing that we have to consult is capitalism, capitalism has to give us permission. Capitalism has to dictate how much time, how much money and how much effort we put into that hobby.  Capitalism has to tell us that it’s okay to produce something other than that which will yield an income, capitalism has to tell us that we can breathe and that we can take a break from always serving the system. 

I think one of the greatest leaps that we as humans can take is deciding to take reigns of our productivity away from capitalism by not allowing it to tell us what we produce, how we produce and how much of we must produce. I am new to the world of hobby and I am still very much working fifty hours of the week and it would be completely disingenuous of me to pretend that I don’t enjoy 80% of my job. I don’t want to sit here and pretend that I don’t get an immense sense of purpose when I solve a complicated problem or when I reach a deadline that capitalism has set for me. What I do want to do, and urge that you try and do, is to stop often and ask yourself how much of how you move through this world is dictated by capitalism. 

If your goal is to make sure that every moment of your waking time is spent maximising the amount of money you make – that should be your choice and you should go forth and rock the world with your focus and ability to stay on course. 

If your goal is to indulge in some side work that brings you both joy and income – then by all means, go on with yourself self-aware self and conquer. 

But if your goal is to carve out time where you serve the capitalist machine and some time where you feed the hobby machine without limits and expectations – then there is a place for you to exist in this spectrum of the world. 

There’s enough room under the moon for us to all feel good about how we spent our hours and why we spend our hours. I am currently on a mission to find a happy little medium, I hope you find yours too.  

Thank you for reading and please remember to be kinder than you think is necessary. 

See you in the next one. 

Book Reviews, books, creativity, diversity, fiction, interesting reads, lifestyle

BOOK REVIEW: EARTHLINGS

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“My town is a factory for the production of human babies. People live in nests packed closely together. It’s just like the silkworm room in Granny’s house. The nests are lined up neatly in rows, and each contains a breeding pair of male and female humans and their babies. The Breeding pairs raise their young aside their nests. I live in one of these nests too.”

Earthlings is a book by Japanese author Sayaka Murata. The book follows the life of a girl named Natsuki who isn’t like other girls. She is a girl who doesn’t quite fit into the world and has difficulty abiding by the the rules of the world that she lives in. She has an ally who thinks like her, her cousin Yuu, and after a series of traumatic events the two of them are separated from each other and they both go on to live their lives of assimilation. The book then continues on to follow Natsuki in her adulthood where she is married to an asexual man and is living her day-to-day life trying to lead a normal life, while secretly believing that she is an alien from another planet. 

I enjoyed Sayaka Murata’s writing. I think her style of writing is very accessible and she has a talent for creating characters that are on the outskirts of society’s definition of “normal” that the reader instantly cares for. In this book I think she did a good job, once again, of challenging what it means to be a person part of a large society that has it’s own expectations on your time, mind and your body. In this book Natsuki has no intention of having children and she admits that because of this she is a failed component of the human factory. I enjoyed that our protagonist had the self awareness to identify where society had failed her, for example when adults were happy to look the other way when she was abused as a child and when her family mistreated her, whilst on the other hand she did not have the awareness to realise when she had gone too far in living this life as an alien.

“What I’m really scared of is believing that the words society makes me speak are my own. You’re different. That’s how I know you’re from another planet.”

This book deals with a lot of big topics (sexual abuse of minors being one of them) and the progression of this book felt unnaturally paced, as though maybe we needed more pages in order to come to terms with the ending, or at least understand the ending. That is why this book was sort of a mid tier book for me. I think it’s one you can pick up if you’re looking for something dark and out of the box then you should definitely read this book (taking into account that it might be triggering for some). If you haven’t read Sayaka Murata’s first book I would recommend that you start there in order to understand and appreciate her writing style before getting into this book. 

This isn’t a book I can recommend to anyone and everyone but it is a book that I think will be enjoyed by some who appreciate the writing, want something a little different  and are able to follow along the story, so pick this one up if that sounds like you.