Category Archives: interesting reads

Book Reviews, books, creativity, diversity, fiction, interesting reads, lifestyle

Book Review: The Vanishing Half

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“She’d grown up in her mother’s eyes, no longer her daughter but a separate woman, complete with her own secrets”

I am going to start with pure honesty and say I have no idea where to start with this review, not only because this book was extremely popular but because this book earned and deserved every bit of the popularity it received. 

I actually put off reading this book because of how popular it was. My main reason for doing this was because I have found that in the past when I have read popular books at the height of their popularity I almost entirely miss the book. I am more likely to rush through the story and to base my enjoyment of the book on what everyone else says it should be. Yes, I am flimsy like that and I sometimes succumb to wanting to just fit in by enjoying a book that everyone enjoys.  With this book however, it turns out that I had no reason to worry.

I am one of those people who likes opening a book with no knowledge of what to expect and I tried to take in as little as was possible about this book (this was very hard because this was one of the most popular books of 2020), I went in as clueless as I could and I still I was not immune to the captivating quality that was this phenomenal book and Brit Bennett’s writing. 

“Important men became martyrs, unimportant ones victims. The important men were given televised funerals, public days of mourning. Their deaths inspired the creation of art and the destruction of cities. But unimportant men were killed to make the point that they were unimportant – that they were not even men – and the world continued on”

The Vanishing Half is a book about twin sisters who come from a town called Mallard that prides itself on having an entirely light skinned African American population. The book moves between two time periods being the late 1960’s and the early to late 1980’s. In this book we follow the lives of of the sisters as one of them (Stella) makes a decision to pass and live her life as a white woman and the other (Desiree) lives her life as an African American woman. With what appears to be an already rich grounds for a story, Brit Bennett manages to somehow go the extra mile and not only give us the complex issue of sisters being apart from another and a history of passing and but she also allows us to explore the important topics of colourism, racism, abuse, and love. Love was by far my favourite part of this book and if a book should come out that consists of Jude and Reese just walking around eating sandwiches all day I am all here for it!

When I think back to the themes that were explored in this book my head nearly spins when I thinking of how brilliantly Brit Bennett juggled all these topics in 343 pages and while at the same time crafting characters that are easy to bond with on a very deep level. I remember reading a part of the book and pausing to cry because Jude and Reese seemed to be happy and the thought of any more sadness coming to them made me want to end the story right there,  but I didn’t because I was tied to Desiree, Early, Adele, Kennedy and Stella. I needed to know how everyone’s story was going to end. And that is the beauty of this book. 

This book unpacks so much with the patience of someone who is slowly telling you a story while basing your scalp with some coconut oil. The story felt as personal as having an old friend walk though your door, shaking their head in disbelief and saying “girl, have I got a tale for you?” That is how deeply invested I was in this story. Brit Bennett did a great job of telling us a story about the many forms of family and relationships take while opening us up to some very deep (and necessary) topics. 

This was a story of transformation for so many people and it was great to see their masks disappear as the characters became more and more of themselves, while others sunk deeper and deeper into the lives they built for themselves on top of the new versions of themselves that they had created.

I rated this book 4.5 starts (rounded up to 5) because I wanted more from the ending. I loved this book and I think the more I read the more I expected a notch above perfection (which might be a bit unfair) but I think the ending didn’t give me that, it took away a little bit from me and how much I loved this book. 

I think the book is worth the read. I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone. It deserves the accolades it has received so far and it is definitely worth your time. 

Book Reviews, books, creativity, fiction, interesting reads

Book Review: My dark Vanessa

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“There must be a point where you’re allowed to be defined by something other than what he did to you” 

I tried reading this book in 2020 but I wasn’t ready for it so after reading the first few pages I decided to put it down and wait for my emotions to settle. 2020 was a lot like that, most things were started and not completed because half way through I realised I had to get myself settled; my emotions, my mind and my body needed soothing on most days. 

I picked this book up again on the 20th of January 2021 and I was completely drawn in by it this time around. I couldn’t put it down, I would look at it longingly during my work day, wishing that in the pages to follow Vanessa was okay, that she had found a way to heal and a way to be more than her abuse. 

My Dark Vanessa is a book about a fifteen year old girl who enters into a relationship with her 42 year old English teacher and who now in her thirties is coming to terms with the fact that what she deemed a great love story was rape and abuse. The story is gripping, painful and Kate Elizabeth Russell wrote a “all in, not holding back” book. She was not afraid to make us go there and to make the reader feel every necessary feeling with this book. 

The book moves between two timelines. The early 2000’s when Jacob Strane singled Vanessa out and started grooming her and the following relationship through the years. The second timeline is in 2017, at the height of the “MeToo” movement when allegations against Strane surface and Vanessa has to reconcile what happened to her and her desperate desire to not be seen as a victim but rather as someone who had agency and entered the relationship with wide open eyes. 

“ “How much strength does it take to hurt a little girl? How much strength does it take for the girl to get over it? Which one of them do you think is stronger?” The questions hangs there, the answers obvious – she’s the strong one. I’m strong, too, stronger than anyone has ever given me credit for.” 

The writing in this book is immaculate and tender, Kate Elizabeth Russel wrote this book with it’s very heavy topic with a sort of precise care that cannot be ignored. She did not tip-toe around the subject, the conversations  and the topics – she dug her hands in deep and did it in a way that invited the reader to feel and understand both versions of Vanessa. The Vanessa that was desperate for this to be a beautiful love story and a sexual awakening and the Vanessa that wanted to say out loud that it was abuse and still ask that she be seen as more than her abuse. 

I feel like in this book I experienced Vanessa’s fears of being branded by his abuse for her whole life and her desire to not be seen as a victim. I understood it all and I sympathised with it all. I wanted things for Vanessa that I did not know I could want for a character. I wanted her to be safe once I finished the book, I wanted her to be taken care of and I wanted her to heal. I so badly wanted her to heal. 

I gave this book 5 out of 5 stars because I think the writer did an excellent job of telling a story that had no option but to be a bad story. No one goes into this book thinking “this will be jolly, there will be a happy ending” but one leaves the book feeling like the author is currently out there taking care of Vanessa and making sure she’s alright, Vanessa was written with a lot of care and I enjoyed that about the book. I also liked that there wasn’t much suspense, the book started off with what had happened and so when reading the book I wasn’t scared that some other monster would pop up and make the story even worse, I felt like I was following along as Vanessa told the story while she interrupted herself with her own questions of “what”, “why” and “how”. This was a great book. I do however think it’s the sort of book one has to be ready for, I think reading it when you aren’t ready for it could make you spiral. It’s a book that says the obvious, “abuse is permanent, the abused carries it with them for a lifetime” and I think Kate Elizabeth Russell did an excellent job telling this story the way she did. 

Book Reviews, books, fiction, interesting reads, lifestyle

Ann K Book Review

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I stumbled onto Anna K by pure coincidence. I typed Anna Karenina into the search bar on my kindle and Anna K came up. I soon learnt that Anna K was the modern day adaptation of Anna Karenina so I decided it might be a good idea to read the books side by side. While I am far from finishing Leo Tolstoy’s original telling of the story I have just finished Jenny Lee’s version.

Anna K is a love story between two super rich teens living in New York. The book really does feel like if Gossip Girl was a book. There’s mentioning of high-end designers (I had to google a few while reading), elaborate parties and a healthy dose of absent parents. The only thing missing was the catty and sassy narration of the story as it unfolded.

The book took me longer to finish because hit was hard for me to sometimes stomach the teenage angst but it was a story worth sticking around for. Jenny Lee gave us a brief look into the teenage lives of the superrich and my first point on the book is that if you hated Gossip Girl because you found it unrealistic then you should certainly avoid this book.

I enjoyed how the protagonist, Anna K, was this perfectly poised teenager and that she also spoke almost no teenage slang. I think this was a necessary part of the storyline in order for the reader to place her on her a pedestal. Anna’s brother was also aptly painted as being a superrich party boy who lived for the here and now and so, it is unexpected when he turns on the reader and proves to be a great big brother who encourages Anna to be a teenager and do teenage stuff.

I did find it a bit off putting that the author’s narrating of black characters had to be so desperate to point out how diverse the book and the characters were. For example I don’t think it was necessary to say “black arm emoji” when a Black character was texting. I can confirm that as an African person when I send an emoji I don’t think “Black yoga girl emoji” so that was a bit of strange thing to do.

I don’t remember laughing out loud while reading it or highlighting much of the book while reading but I remember dreaming and trying to picture the characters in my head so that was a wonderful little trip. If you enjoy occasionally re-watching Gossip Girl and you are looking for a new love story with a poised half-Korean and half-White protagonist this is the book for you. And if you enjoy retellings of old classics this is definitely the book for you. While there are some distractions that might keep you from getting into the story I think Jenny Lee did a good job of telling the love story and you should definitely give it a read.

Thanks for reading this review, please let me know whether you have read the book and whether you agree of disagree.

Until next time, remember to be kinder than you think is necessary.

Book Reviews, books, fiction, interesting reads, lifestyle, Uncategorized, Writing

Little Fires Everywhere Book Review

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Last weekend, Easter weekend, was a great reading weekend. I finished off two books and started two new books. This is a big deal for me because it means that I managed to convince myself that the world would not collapse with me fully immersed in reading and away from my laptop. Two of the books I read last week were about fire, one book was about two children who spontaneously combust (Nothing to See Here book review coming soon) and the other was a little well-known book called Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng.

Little Fires Everywhere has been on my radar for a long time. Most probably since it came onto the scene and it was mentioned by some pretty famous book clubs. It is always a bit hard to read a book that is overly hyped, for no reason other than feeling really bad when you don’t like it. Like maybe there’s something intrinsically wrong with my literary palate.

Over the years however I have discovered that I struggle to read overhyped books because I build a pretty strong wall of expectations and if the author is unable to climb that wall and reach my unrealistic anticipations I tend to not enjoy the book and I rarely ever finish the book. With Little Fires Everywhere however I decided to get over myself and just read the darn book!

With all that being said I walked into Celeste Ng’s book with very little knowledge of the storyline. I didn’t know any of the characters, I’d never actually read or watched a single book review, I just knew that it was a good book that had been on Reece’s book club in 2017. This is a great way to get into a book because I went in with no truths or beliefs that I needed to be confirmed.

The book starts off at the tail end of the story in that it starts with a fire and the rest of the book takes us through the events leading up to that fire. We are introduced to an upper middle-class family the Richardson’s and their two mysterious tenants mother and daughter, Mia and Pearl. Mia and Pearl move into a home owned by Mrs Richardson whose family has been part of the Shaker Heights community for three generations. The community is a perfectly planned community where everything is orchestrated according the Shaker Heights by-laws. The grass is cut at a certain height, the houses are all painted the same colours and the people in Shaker tend to all follow a strict set of rules. Shaker seems like a place that Mia and Pearl who have been nomads for all of Pearl’s life would not fit in, but of course they manage to fit in with Pearl befriending the Richardson children and Mia taking on one of the children, Izzy, as somewhat of a protégé.

As I have stated I went into the book with no background about what the book is about. The one thing I enjoy about reading strictly on kindle is that I am unable to read the back cover of books so I really do go into books partially clueless. The book did not manage to grip me as much as I thought it would. Getting through the story was actually quite challenging for me. I think it could be that when the scene is set as “perfect little community versus rogue mother and daughter duo who don’t follow the rules” my mind already starts to construct it’s own story and 80% of the time I am spot on about what will happen and this is exactly what happened with this book give or take a few twits. I expected them to face the challenges they faced, I expected them to fall for the people they fell for and I expected them to act in a way they acted.

For me finishing the book became more about confirming my expectations as opposed to savouring and enjoying the actual story. The book is however written quite well. I cannot fault Ceelste’s writing at all. The story itself is told wonderfully and under any circumstances I would have been more than happy to give it five stars on good reads. I think I was at the point in my fiction reading wherein I wanted a bit more thrill or maybe characters who do the unexpected, which is what I have been reading a lot of lately.

I do think though that the book is worth the read. It is generally a good enough entertaining read and it definitely felt like I was watching a series while reading it and I can totally see what the fuss was about it in 2017. The book might not thrill you, but Celeste Ng is a gifted writer who does some wonderful things in telling a story that feels like it is as old as time itself.

Thanks for reading this review, please let me know whether you have read the book and whether you agree or disagree.

Until next time, remember to be kinder than you think is necessary.

diversity, interesting reads, lean in, lifestyle

On Leaning In (While Black) Seven Years Later

I read Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In a while ago, probably a few months after it was first released in 2013. I found the book interesting and helpful at the time since I had big ambitions of becoming some big corporate powerhouse who would be jet-setting all across the world and who would obviously need to do a lot of leaning in in order to not only get there but to thrive once I made it there.

In my very foggy memory I remember agreeing with Sheryl’s perspective on romantic relationships because I had grown up believing that the partnership part of romantic relationships was the part that should be the loudest. I, for no other reason than the fact that it made perfect sense to me, have always understood that being with a partner that would expect me to carry the full weight of all domestic labour was an unsustainable endeavour that I had no interest in taking on.

I also remember being very grateful to Sheryl’s highlighting of my own biases that I had observed in others but never quite paid careful attention to when it was time to confront myself in the mirror. Since then when feeling of dislike for another woman I ask myself whether I am simply taking part in the Heidi versus Howard case study and disliking a woman disproportionately simply because of her gender and nothing else. This little tool has been helpful to me. It has helped me keep a level head around the likeability of other women as well as my own likeability… that is until recently.

Over the past few months I have found myself overly worried about my likeability as it directly correlates to my, for lack of a better word, professional success. This is very new territory for me. I have almost wholeheartedly become accustomed to worrying about my likeability as it relates to my general personality. I have of course grown up (hello 30!) and in my last year in my twenties let go of the notion that there is something wrong with my personality. So no, this is not one of those self-deprecating blogs.

I have, however, found myself in professional spaces wondering whether or not I am too much of an angry black woman given my very strong stances on transformation in my particular field. I have thought about how I could easily be shooting myself in the foot because I am fully aware that I walk into rooms; black, a woman, opinionated and with a sense of belief in my opinions and that might not always land softly in some rooms.

This past weekend I lazily re-watched Sheryl Sandberg’s TedTalk on leaning in. I went in hoping that it would be a simple solution. That I would somehow reach into the depths of my psyche that would remind me who I was and why I needed to be where I was; black, a woman, opinionated and with a sense of belief in my opinions. I really was hoping that I would find my problem, name it and get to the business of fixing it.

Unfortunately to my disappointment I still have no solution. This in no way is a criticism of the book seven years later. It was a book that needed to be written and it was a book that never claimed to describe the full spectrum of all the intersections of womanhood. So because of this I hold no grudges. With that being said though I found myself still in need of a solution.

I recently went on a yoga retreat with a group of amazing black women and I found it interesting that I was not the only person who felt this way. I was not the only one who has been wondering whether I am in the way, whether I am too much to handle and whether my opinions should be voiced out loud. It appears there is some sort of bug going around that is making us all wonder whether we are worthy enough to be in the rooms we are in. The experience I had with those women a few weeks ago has been carrying me through and ringing in my head and I hear their voices every time I feel like I need to step out waving my angry black woman flag. And I must say knowing that I am not alone in this experience, that a group of amazing and self-assured women have also found themselves similar situations to mine. The experiences I shared with those women reminded me that I am not fortunate enough to be in a position where a lot of people who look like me are allowed to speak and speak loudly at that. I am in a position of tremendous privilege and with this comes an awareness that we need more of us.

And so I have decided to lean into the wonderful women I went walking with in the rain and I have realised that I may not like the eyes that stare back, this gnawing feeling of being disliked and the other emotions that come with voicing opinions that may seem like a hammer among powder brushes – I do however have a responsibility to myself and others like myself. I hope that going forward I will dig into this responsibility and steer clear of leaning into the fear that comes with the self-doubt. Honestly, I hope I will lean into whatever I can get my hands on because a lot of things are options, but leaning back is definitely not one of them.