I went running yesterday and it was a pretty big deal. It was the first time my feet had hid the ground running since the Soweto Half Marathon which damn near killed me.

It’s always interesting to me the amount of friction that comes up when it’s time to run. Because exercise doesn’t come easy to me since I was never athletic everything seems like it requires extra effort.

I’ve been putting off running for two whole weeks now. I’ve had a good reason, I was away from home and I didn’t want to venture out in foreign streets all by myself. Living in South Africa as a woman means thinking of the worst before you go out running by your lonesome self. So I’ve had that excuse, safely tucked in the back pocket of my mind, waiting to be used daily at approximately 5am.

Yesterday though I decided to ignore my get-out-of-running-free-card and put on my favourite running pants and my dirty little sneakers and head out.

I think the biggest thing about doing physical exercise for me has almost nothing to do with my physical body but almost everything to do with my mind. I was on the street and I remember nothing about what my body did – I mean it ran at what I’d consider a dismal pace but other than that I am sort of blank. However, I do remember everything that went through my mind.

I thought about how I had finally tossed out the get out of running card out the window. How I was really happy that I’d packed my running gear when I left my house this weekend. I thought about how I am into a new decade and at the end of it I’d like to leave with my mental health in tact and I thought about what actions will be required of me if I am to make that a reality.

Since my year technically started on the 26th of January on my birthday, I am doing a lot of work and trying by all means to re-commit to myself and centering positive habits.

In 2020 my chosen theme for the year is “ease“. This for me is like to see as there being ease in my daily living, ease in my breathing and ease in knowing that I am not shortchanging myself by doing half what I know is needed for me to attain ease. So yes running was hard, but it brought along with it the ease of knowing that I can defeat my own mental restrictions if and when I want to. And isn’t that what having a runners mind is really about?

Thanks for reading again – remember to give more kindness than you think is necessary.